Muff Busters

That's what your mawma said. But is she a big fat liar? Rock and Heidi are DIVING in and asking the hard-hitting questions like: why can fish eat and swim? Should you be using public pools? Did your mom push you into a creek? Now, they're not experts, but they did just eat a two piece and a biscuit in the kiddie pool, so…

Your biology teacher might have told you that, but was he just being mean? Rock and Heidi are putting their HEADS together and asking the hard questions like: are you smarter than a 5th grader? What am I thinking right now? What is beef tartare? Now, they're not experts, but they just won't leave, so… 

Your freshman yearbook picture might say "yes" but what does your bodyodyody say? Rock and Heidi are COMBING through the "facts" and asking the hard questions like: how did Jesus get those body waves? Is Boston a lake or a river? Can I have that wig? Now, they're not experts but they keep saying "trust me, trust me," so …

Your friend Jessica might be a sweaty drunk but is she just a sweaty woman who really likes pinot? Rock and Heidi are POURING out the "facts" and asking the tough questions like: can we put this round on Jaida's tab? Why is my cocktail not refreshing? What season was Glandular on? Now, they're not experts but they keep giving me shots, so…

But how did Old Aunt Edith learn how to order shrimp in Tagalog? Rock and Heidi are SCHOOLING us on the "facts" and asking the hard questions like: are three-legged dogs actually perverts? Do corgis have the original BBL? Are you old or dumb? Now, they're not experts but they keep handing out treats, so… 

It's bad to waste food, but didn't that nugget have a hair on it? Rock and Heidi are DROPPING the "facts" and asking the hard questions like: are brownies better on the floor? Does my bellybutton taste good? How long is too long? Now, they're not experts but they keep stealing lunches from the company fridge, so…

But what about that girl in third grade who drank too much water and threw up? Rock and Heidi are serving a TALL GLASS of "facts" and asking the tough questions like: sparkling or still? Is my pee supposed to look like that? Do you feel Heidi Hydrated right now? Now, they're not experts but they're walking this way really fast, so…

And common sense ain't one of them! Rock and Heidi are FEELING out the "facts" and asking the tough questions like: if you smelt it, did you dealt it? I'm sorry, what did you say? Do you have ghost friends too? Now, they're not experts but they're sitting in a dark room giggling about something, so…

But how does the peanut want to identify? Rock and Heidi are CRACKING open the "facts" and asking the hard questions like: how much nut could a peanut nut? Do you have any allergies? Is Mr. Peanut trying to get it tonight? Now, they're not experts but they stole my keys and I need a ride, so…

But if the corpse is serving, why is she not getting booked, henny? Rock and Heidi are DIGGING UP the "facts" and asking the tough questions like: when does Riga Morris set in? Can dead wigs compete in pageants? Is this funeral almost over? Now, they're not experts but they just ordered a pizza, so…