Rental Reviews

Demolition Man, the smash hit from 1993 starring Sylvester Stallone, Wesley Snipes, and Sandra Bullock. Today Cinemassacre Video sends some maniacs to review some maniacs with their Demolition Man review. Starring James, Justin, Kieran, Tony from Hack The Movies, and a special guest appearance by Taco Bell.

The gang gets together and talk about the goriest movies they have ever seen. We got zombies rampaging in New Zealand, robots machine gunning business men, an Italian movie would couldn't even show clips of, and a shape shifting alien that is basically gore come to life. James even goes into a brief history of gore in cinema. Find out what him, Justin, Kieran, and Tony from Hack The Movies consider the goriest films they have ever seen.

This week James and the gang step into the world of anime with Akira (1988). A film responsible for a lot peoples introduction to anime. It also takes place in 2019. Ryan stops by to give his input. See what they all have to say about this Japanese animated classic.

This week James and the gang talk about what action movies they think are underrated. See James talk about how the the action trio the DRAGONS will kick ass FOREVER. Listen to Justin talk about his taste for WASABI. Get in the passenger seat with Kieran as he brings up a movie that's more his SPEED! And stick around until the end so Tony can give you the RUNDOWN on the best action movie ever!

Joysticks (1983) is one of the first video game movies ever. Sure, it's about an arcade, but it's mostly about the awful slobs that run the arcade. Anything video game related just proves how much the writers didn't know about games. Though, it's great to see Joe Don Baker.

Caddyshack, the 1980 comedy about a golf course and all the SNL jerks that work on it. There's Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, Rodney Dangerfield, and tons of caddies the movie was supposed to be about originally... before Harold Ramis got confused. Pick it up today at Cinemassacre Video, right next to Caldor!

What's the best Indiana Jones movie? Raiders of the Lost Ark or Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. They're basically the same film beat for beat, one's just more shiny and the other more classic. Tough decision, but the goons at Cinemassacre Video are here to answer it in this Rental Review!

What's the best of the "other" Indiana Jones movies? Temple of Doom or Crystal Skull. One breaks the formula, the other is on brand, just a lot more CGI and bad acting. Tough decision, but the goons at Cinemassacre Video are here to answer it in this Rental Review!

Actors often get recasted in movies and TV. But here's our picks for the strangest, most weird recastings. From budget issues to actors just not melding well with their crews, almost every long running series will be forced to recast their actors. From Batman, to Iron Man, to Family Matters, to yes, even Twin Peaks. Even Rental Reviews is getting recasted! (thankfully)

Leprechaun and Leprechaun Returns are being reviewed today at Cinemassacre Video on this episode of Rental Reviews. It's our St. Patrick's Day special! Warwick Davis brought the world his scariest and funniest version of the Leprechaun, but Leprechaun Returns dropped him in favor of Linden Porco. Today we'll review both.

Jim Varney was probably the hardest working comedic actor in the 80's and 90's. He did everything from commercials, TV shows, and movies. The Rental Reviews gang dives into one of many Ernest Movies. See what happens when Ernest Goes To Jail!

Road House. The best movie ever... and the worst movie ever. It's about Dalton (Patrick Swayze), the best bouncer for hire in the country, who must clean up a bar called the Double Deuce. There's drinking, romance, explosions, and bare-knuckle fist fights. Plus, everyone loves Sam Elliot. Sadly Kieran will not be in this episode, but you'll get to find out what Tony calls Road House his favorite movie.

The Running Man takes place in the dark dystopian future of 2019. The gang watches this movie starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and talks about the crazy premise, over the top characters, and if any of its predictions of the future came true? They also pick apart some of the most ridiculous one liners Arnold has ever delivered. How would you rank this movie and who is your favorite stalker in the movie? NOTE: We forgot to mention it in the review but this movie was Written by Steven E. de Souza who's movies we have talked about before and directed by Paul Michael Glaser who played Starsky in Starsky and Hutch.

Prepare yourself! ...for the other Mortal Kombat movie from 1995... that nobody wanted! On this episode of Cinemassacre Rental Reviews the guys Test Their Might against Mortal Kombat: The Journey Begins. It's a 3D and 2D animated movie that came out before the live action film. It was supposed to be a tie-in for the movie, but doesn't make any sense and looks like garbage. The 3D animated Reptile in the real movie looks better.

Kazaam. The genie movie Shaq wants you to forgot about! In this episode of Rental Reviews we cover the best (worst) movie of 1996. It follows the story of Max. A kid struggling with his parents divorce and being the master of a genie named Kazaam.

With Endgame finally here, we decided on a spoiler free reflection on the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) as a whole. But, why does James only like the individual Marvel movies and not The Avengers? Kieran certainly does. Justin barely cares about anything, but he likes the Avengers. There's been 21 movies over a decade, it's basically the Star Wars of this generation.

On this episode of Rental Reviews we'll take you back to the past, before rental stores, to the early 20th century... for a Three Stooges Retrospective! If you don't already know, The Three Stooges were a comedy team (american vaudeville) that created tons of shorts from 1922 until 1970. In their almost 200 film run, there were a ton of classic physical farce and slapstick moments that are still funny to this day. James, Tony, and Kieran will talk about Moe, Larry, and Curly... plus the other more forgotten members of this titanic comedy tour de force.

Here's our Detective Pikachu review. Pokémon isn't usually something covered by Cinemassacre, but with this new movie being released, the Pokemon movies now going live action. Sadly, no Danny Devito in this episode, but James, Justin, and Kieran will guide you through the world of Pokemon.

The Fifth Element! The greatest movie ever made, that James feels indifferent about. Hmm, guess Tony and Justin will have to find out why in today's Cinemassacre Rental Review! This 1997 Sci-fi action comedy follows Korben Dallas (Bruce Willis) and Leeloo (Milla Jovovich) on their adventure to return the Fifth Element to a shrine to save the universe against evil.

Last Action Hero! Arnold Schwarzenegger's best action film, because it parodies all his other action films. It's the story of young Danny Madigan getting sucked into the fictional Jack Slater films using a magic movie ticket. But he should watch out for the evil villain Benedict (Charles Dance from Game of Thrones). Danny and Jack must band together to save both their worlds. In today's review, James, Justin, and Kieran will guide you through Last Action Hero and why it's so popular, yet underrated.

The sequel to Godzilla (2014) is here. Godzilla: King of the Monsters! This sequel offered more monsters and ties together the MonsterVerse. James, Kieran, and Tony discuss and review the film. James went in with a list of things he wanted to see, let's see how that turned out. Spoiler alert: Not well.

With the AVGN Superman 64 episode being revisited we decided to cover another awful Superman property... Superman IV: The Quest for Peace! Which is probably the worst Superman movie, though Superman III and the new DCU films have their terrible moments. Let's see what James, Justin, and Tony have to say.

The Spice Girls were a huge pop group in the 90s, which led to them getting a debut feature film, Spice World, in 1997. Special guest Erin Plays!! The Spice Girls consisted of Emma Bunton (Baby Spice), Geri Halliwell (Ginger Spice), Melanie Brown (Scary Spice), Melanie Chisholm (Sporty Spice) and Victoria Addams (Posh Spice). But I guess James didn't get the Girl Power memo and needs Erin from Erin Plays and Justin to fill him in. Tony sat this one out, per usual! ...or did he??

R.O.T.O.R. (AKA Blue Steel) is what happens when you try to mix Robocop with The Terminator but cut the budget by A LOT! James and the gang talk about probably the least effective worst killer cyborg they have ever seen. Enjoy the awful dubbing, Ed Wood style editing, and the slowest martial art ever seen. Side Note: This is Kieran's favorite Christmas movie.

Come on down to Cinemassacre Video!! Well, the Live panel anyway. James, Justin, Kieran, and Tony put on a panel at TooManyGames 2019. But what movie did they show? Well, a bunch. This is technically a clip show, but they show you the clips.

It's Scott the Woz vs. the World on Rental Reviews today with a review of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. Scott Pilgrim was the comic, turned movie, turned video game, turned YouTube review. It's the 2010 action comedy film co-written, produced and directed by Edgar Wright, based on the graphic novel series Scott Pilgrim by Bryan Lee O'Malley.

Kermit's Swamp Years was a TV Movie from 2002. It's probably the worst Muppets movie of all time. Almost. We're also joined by Arlo, who is a Monster on YouTube... that reviews games.

Plan 9 from Outer Space is celebrating it's 60th Anniversary, so we decided to do a review! It's also the one year anniversary of Rental Reviews, so we went back to our original four person style. Plan 9 is Ed Wood's most popular film from 1959, that most people consider the worst movie ever made.

Dumb and Dumber is up for review this week at Cinemassacre Video! It's the comedic cross-country story of two good-hearted but incredibly stupid friends. It came out in 1994 and was directed by Peter Farrelly. Starring Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels, it tells the story of Lloyd Christmas (Carrey) and Harry Dunne (Daniels), two dumb but well-meaning friends from Providence, Rhode Island, who set out on a cross-country trip to Aspen, Colorado, to return a briefcase full of money to its owner, thinking it was abandoned as a mistake but was actually left as ransom money.

On this episode of Rental Reviews, the guys at Cinemassacre video review the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film, which closely follows the storyline from the Mirage comic books, in addition to some of the more lighthearted elements of the cartoons. The film tells the origin story of Splinter and the Turtles, their initial encounters with April O'Neil (Judith Hoag) and Casey Jones (Elias Koteas), and their first confrontation with The Shredder and his Foot Clan. The first sequel, titled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze, expands on the Turtles' origin story while claiming the distinction as Vanilla Ice's film debut.

Duel was one of Steven Spielberg's earliest films. It came out in 1971 and is definitely a precursor to Jaws. The chase scenes anyway. It's basically Jaws, if it was about a truck instead of a shark. David Mann (Dennis Weaver), a mild mannered electronics salesman, is driving cross-country on a two-lane highway when he encounters an old oil tanker driven by an unseen driver who seems to enjoy annoying him with dangerous antics on the road. Unable to escape the demonic big rig, David finds himself in a dangerous game of cat and mouse with the monstrous truck. When the pursuit escalates to deadly levels, David must summon his inner warrior and turn the tables on his tormentor.

Dirty Work is a 1998 American comedy film starring Norm Macdonald, Artie Lange, Jack Warden, and Traylor Howard and directed by Bob Saget. In the film, long-time friends Mitch (Macdonald) and Sam (Lange) start a revenge-for-hire business, and work to fund heart surgery for Sam's father Pops (Warden).

Anonymous Rex is a Sci Fi channel movie that was originally supposed to be a pilot for a Fox TV show. It stars Sam from True Blood and Daniel Baldwin as shape shifting dinosaur Private Investigators. You read that right. Josh and Alex from Psychostick join James as they try figure out what the hell this movie is.

Airplane! is one of the best comedy films ever made. It spoofs the Disaster Movie craze of the 70's and also mixes in funny sight gags, surrealist humor, and insanely memorable one-liners. It also helped Leslie Nielsen transition to comedy. See what James and guests Rob and Matt from Psychostick think of this classic.

True Lies is a 1994 American action comedy thriller about a fearless, globe-trotting, bad guy-battling secret agent that has his life turned upside down when he discovers his wife might be having an affair with a used car salesman while bad guys smuggle nukes into the United States. It was written, directed, and co-produced by James Cameron. It stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis, Tom Arnold, Art Malik, Tia Carrere, Bill Paxton (the Dinkster), Eliza Dushku, Grant Heslov and Charlton Heston.

Welcome to the inaugural episode of Retail Reviews!! Mike Matei is getting ready to open his game store and had Ryan and Kieran stop by to help set up. While they're at it they talk about the new Sega Genesis Mini and how it compares to other mini consoles like the At Games Sega Genesis Flashback. (other familiar faces coming soon)

In the summer of 1962, a new kid in town is taken under the wing of a young baseball prodigy and his rowdy team. They end up losing a Babe Ruth signed baseball in the backyard of an evil dog known as THE BEAST! See what James, Kieran, and Tony think about this classic family film.

Rambo: First Blood is a 1982 American action film directed by Ted Kotcheff, and co-written by Sylvester Stallone, who also stars as Vietnam War veteran John Rambo. The first installment in the Rambo franchise, it co-stars Richard Crenna and Brian Dennehy. It's about a Vietnam veteran and drifter John J. Rambo who wanders into a small Washington town in search of an old friend, but is met with intolerance and brutality by the local sheriff. When the police restrain and shave Rambo, he flashes back to his time as a prisoner of war and unleashes his fury on the officers. He narrowly escapes the manhunt, but it will take his former commander to save the hunters from the hunted.

What's better? Jurassic Park 2 or 3? Today on Rental Reviews the guys argue over what the best Jurassic Park sequel is. Tony is going with JP3. Let's see how wrong he truly is!! The Lost World: Jurassic Park is a 1997 American science fiction adventure film and the second installment in the Jurassic Park film series. Whereas, Jurassic Park III is the 2001 third installment and sequel to The Lost World.

It's a Blob VS. Blob showdown at "Cinemassacre Video 2" today. The Blob (1958) was a drive-in favorite, this sci-fi classic follows teenagers Steve (Steven McQueen) and his best girl, Jane (Aneta Corseaut), as they try to protect their hometown from a gelatinous alien life form that engulfs everything it touches. 30 years later, in 1988, a remake was created. In that film, in a tiny California town, high school students discover a strange, gelatinous substance that melts the flesh of any living creatures in its path. So basically the same thing, just expanded. Get it? Expanded? Like THE BLOB???!

A group of young shopping mall employees stay behind for a late night party in one of the stores. When the mall goes on lock-down before they can get out, the robot security system malfunctions, and goes on a killing spree. See what James, Justin and Kieran have to say about this ridiculous film. Also check out the VHS stores security droid!

Monster Squad might be the last great mash up of the classic universal monster. It might also possibly be the best! Its about a group of kid who love monsters having to defend their town from actual monsters! Can they take on all these monsters by themselves? Does The Wolfman got nards? Find out when James, Mike, and Justin review this graveyard smash!

Mr. Lobo (our Landlord) joins us for a conversation about our favorite horror TV memories. We talk about Horror Hosts like Elvira, Joe Bob, and Mr. Lobo himself and also a ton of other spooky Halloween specials and movies. From The Halloween Tree to the Garfield Halloween Special to Roseanne to creepy commercials. It's truly the best time of year to watch TV!

James and Kieran are joined by Pat Contri to talk about the first Predator! Its about a team of special force ops, led by Arnold Schwarzenegger, are on a rescue mission for potential survivors of a Helicopter downed over remote South American jungle. Not long after they land, they discover that they have been sent in under false pretenses. This deception turns out to be the least of their worries though, when they find themselves being methodically hunted by something not of this world!

Shane from Rerez joins James and Justin as they look back on the Super Mario Bros. movie! Two Brooklyn plumbers, Mario and Luigi, must travel to another dimension to rescue a princess from the evil dictator King Koopa and stop him from taking over the world. Is it all bad or is there some good to be found in this film?

The future is now! Blade Runner takes place a week from this episode of Rental Reviews airing. (Nov 20, 2019) So, we decided to finally review this film. Blade Runner is a 1982 science fiction film directed by Ridley Scott,,and is loosely based on Philip K. Dick's novel Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (1968). In the movie Deckard (Harrison Ford) is forced by the police Boss to continue his old job as Replicant Hunter. His assignment: eliminate four escaped Replicants from the colonies who have returned to Earth. Before starting the job, Deckard goes to the Tyrell Corporation and he meets Rachel (Sean Young), a Replicant girl he falls in love with.

This week the gang is joined by Matt McMuscles to review Samurai Cop! Joe Marshall (Mathew Karedas) and Frank Washington (Mark Frazer) are two tenacious police detectives who seek at all costs to stop the Katana (Japanese Sword), a renegade Yakuza gang composed of violent and sadistic killers who want to lead the drug trade in Los Angeles.

Spawn is a 1997 American superhero film based on the comic book character of the same name. Spawn depicts the origin story of the title character, beginning with Al Simmons getting sent to Hell. He is resurrected as Spawn, the reluctant, demonic leader of Hell's army. He ultimately refuses to lead the army in the war against Heaven and turns away from evil.

Ernest Saves Christmas is a 1988 American Christmas comedy film directed by John R. Cherry III and starring Jim Varney. Santa Claus (Douglas Seale) is looking for his successor, and hapless taxi driver Ernest P. Worrell (Jim Varney) is just the man to help him out. Traveling to Florida to pass his mantle on to children's show host Joe Carruthers (Oliver Clark), Santa gets into unexpected trouble, and it's up to Ernest, along with a teen girl named Harmony (Noelle Parker), to assist Saint Nick with his important mission, or the future of Christmas could be in jeopardy.

Christmas vacation is the 3rd installment in the National Lampoon Vacation series. It's Christmas time and the Griswolds are preparing for a family seasonal celebration, but things never run smoothly for Clark (Chevy Chase), his wife Ellen (Beverly D'Angelo) and their two kids. Clark's continual bad luck is worsened by his obnoxious family guests, but he manages to keep going knowing that his Christmas bonus is due soon.

Two movies. Both called Jack Frost. Both about snowmen. One is chilln' and killin' and the other is the worlds COOLEST dad! James and the gang got together to decide which one is the better film and which Jack Frost would win in a fight!