Married... with Children

When Al manages to get two prime tickets to a charity all-star basketball game, Peggy spoils his fun by insisting she come along. Things turn even worse for Al when she trades seats with him just before his former seat is chosen for a $10,000 free-throw contest. Meanwhile, Kelly tries to get herself basketball player Vlade Divac.

Al is thrilled when his childhood friend asks for his help in dealing with a young thug and his gang who have been harassing her at the inner city convenience store where she now works. But how does Al explain it to Peggy? Simply put: Al checks himself and Peggy into a local hotel near the rough neighborhood and sneaks out to confront the thug Ray-Ray and his gang, only to get beaten up by the youths again and again.

The other Bundys think Bud has flipped out when they overhear his basement conversion with his 'cool' alter-ego who arrives from another universe and shows Bud the tactics on picking up women. Meanwhile, Al has a personal battle of his own with a voice-over phone service to order a purchase for a new spare part for the Dodge.

Kelly is back as the Verminator, Bud is off to the frat house, and a run of good fortune convinces Al that the Bundy curse, dictating that every silver lining hides a thundercloud, is about to strike him down.

Marcy tries to overcome her fear of public speaking by fantasizing that she's elsewhere (having sex in the bedroom), which is a real treat for the audience. But the only people that are turned off by Marcy's simulated lovemaking skills are an embarrassed Jefferson, a shocked Peggy, and a disgusted Al who's hooked on rap videos.

Convinced they can share, Kelly and Bud pool their money together so they can buy a car for themselves, which both want, but neither will surrender, for a time alone in the car with their drive-in movie dates. Meanwhile, Al is happy after he intimidates Peggy into buying him some meat from the supermarket.

On Halloween night, the Grim Reaper (in the form of a dark-haired, pasty-faced Peggy) finally answers Al's inadvertent long cried call for death and won't leave him until one of his family members say that they need him. Meanwhile, Marcy convinces Peggy, Bud, Kelly and Jefferson to impersonate the Village People at a party she's hosting honoring female spouse murderers.

Al hires Aaron, a recent Polk high school graduate to work in his shoe store for the summer. Aaron sees Al as a hero and when he announces of his decision to marry, Al takes full advantage by giving the boy the benefit of wisdom not to ever marry and become like him and millions of other long-suffering married men: losers. Meanwhile, while working as the Verminator, Kelly accidentally gets a face-full of bug spray which causes her to start behaving very strangely.

When Al and his friends gets fed up with the women taking over their Giggly Room and their bowling night, thanks to both Jerry Springer and Marcy D'Arcy. They form a secret organization called No MA'AM and hold him hostage in his own show in an audience filled with men donning the No MA'AM shirts. They intend to perform television's first sexorcism which includes them forcing him in watching hours of pro-wrestling. They'll also force him to wear a stinky, yellow undershirt and a pair of boxers with the words "It's All Me" until the women who took over their Giggly Room and their bowling night comply to their demands.

Al bribes Kelly and Bud into posing as him and Jefferson to accompany Peg and Marcy at The Jeffersons Moving On Up Tour live, while they go to a newly opened sports bar.

Lacking attention, Buck decides to run away from home and the rest of the family doesn't discover that he's gone until a week later which is the time limit for dogs at the pound where Buck winds up. Al is then torn between going with the family to look for Buck and going to the nudie bar with Jefferson for a "Wrestle Till You Raw" night.

Al is injured playing baseball with his friends, and ends up in the hospital needing surgery. Due to a mix-up at the hospital, however, Al ends up receiving a circumcision.

On Christmas Eve, Kelly and Bud try to sneak in a jukebox to give to their parents who spend the entire show sitting in front of their TV set arguing with each other over the proper speed for channel switching. Also, Marcy and Jefferson throw a wild Christmas party next door and do not tell Al about it.

With Al and Peggy away for a family reunion with her family in Wanker County, Wisconsin (where everyone's last name is Wanker and is relative), Bud lets Kelly have the house for Saturday night. When her date accidentally destroys the family couch, Kelly must travel to the far corners of Illinois to find the crazed, hermit-like, former maker of the couch to ask for a replacement before her parents come home.

On Al's 45th birthday, Peggy decides to give him a sexy photo of herself to hang in the shoe store. But the photographer decides to hang it in a huge blow up version of the same photo on a giant billboard in the mall outside the store. Naturally, this cannot be tolerated so Al enlists the help of Marcy's feminist group FANG (Feminists Against Neanderthal Guys), NO MA'AM's rival counterpart, to destroy the offending image. Meanwhile, Kelly and Bud can't seem to get the right gift for Al.

A borderline war between the neighbors over the rights to a fruit tree, with a lesson to be learned somewhere, if only they would stop fighting.

Al battles other husbands at a store for last-minute Valentine's Day shoppers. Meanwhile, Bud gets physically and sexually abused when trying to find in a hotel his long-lost valentine girl, who is now a famous pop star.

Bud sends poor Kelly on a wild goose chase to find 'Waldo' so that he can have run of the house making out with a wayward blonde. Meanwhile, with nearly 1 000 000 miles on the family jalopy's clock, Al gets an incredible offer from the Dodge company for a brand-new Viper.

Al opposes the proposed destruction of his old high school football field to build a new auto plant (initiated by Marcy and Kyoto Bank) by chaining himself to the goalpost. Meanwhile, Buck and Bud suffer from unusual side effects after Kelly the Verminator sprays them with a new pesticide called "Springtime in Baghdad."

Jefferson reveals his secret past to Marcy when he tells her that he is a ex-CIA spy in a witness relocation program. Meanwhile, Al gets conflicting emotions when he is offered a $50,000 reward by a certain Walter Traugott, a shady thug who is looking for Jefferson. Elsewhere, Peggy has a toothache from a broken tooth, and Kelly and Bud dress up as bums at the mall to acquire more cash for themselves.

Al shows his new temp Dexter around the shoe store, while Bud and Kelly queues outside for a rock concert, and Peggy, aiming to win a trip to Tahiti, tries to get Al to make a fool of himself over the radio.

Al opposes a forced car pooling until he learns that three lingerie models are in the group. But Al realizes the models are full-figured. Al and his group are then chosen to promote a campaign by the local health board to appear in commercial advertisements to clean up over polluted Chicago. But when Al and the ladies are asked to picket outside a chemical plant where Kelly works as the Verminator spokes model, Al must decide whether or not to help close down the plant and make Kelly lose her job, or give up his fame and fortune. Meanwhile, no one seems to care after Bud announces that he has made the Dean's List at college.

When another complaint from a fat woman at the shoe store results in Al losing his parking space and being reprimanded not to insult anymore fat women, he, Jefferson and the rest of his mens club NO MA'AM seek out a legendary guru macho man to teach them how to battle political correctness. Meanwhile, Peggy, Kelly and Bud hide a secret refrigerator full of food from Al.

Al rushes to finish fixing the basement step before his favorite movie, "Hondo" comes on TV. But, in an attempt to get some new batteries for his flashlight, he finds himself locked inside the store. Meanwhile, Bud and Kelly attempt to celebrate Buck's birthday, much to Buck's dismay.

Using their tax refund money, Jefferson and Al bet heavily on a college football game that they are guaranteed to win. But that's before Trumaine's prized, not-so-bright quarterback Chad, who is being tutored by Bud, falls in love with Kelly, whom she pleasantly distracts from his training. Al must find a way to keep them apart at all costs after he finds out that other shady parties have also bet heavily on the game as well.

When the Bundy TV set blows its condenser, Al decides to try out for a place on a new sports trivia game show, hoping to win a new TV set as the first prize. But when he is denied because of his lack of personality, Al tries to transfer his knowledge of sports to Kelly to win the show for him. But for each fact that she takes in, another falls out.