Barney Miller

When Wojo is assigned to work as a Public Information Officer for the week, he becomes panicked at learning there's no citywide evacuation procedure in the event of a major emergency. Harris and Fish go on a call at a neighborhood pawn shop and soon meet a young girl suspected of trying to sell stolen goods.

When Wojo brings in a suspect for breaking into a warehouse he soon collapses. Once a doctor gets called up to the squad room to diagnose the suspect, everyone is ordered to stay under quarantine until tests determine if he has chicken pox or smallpox. Meanwhile, Marty and his partner Darryl turn to Barney for help in getting a character reference in order to be able to move to San Francisco, and Fish books a prostitue.

As the detectives and their guests settle in for the night of quarantine at the twelfth precinct, waiting on news of the suspect's diagnosis, everyone starts getting on one another's nerves.

The squad investigates a hijacked bus that crashes in the neighborhood.

It's Election Day and Wojo annoys everyone in the squad room by asking if they voted yet and who they voted for. He then gets in trouble when the suspect he escorted a suspect to a polling place escapes. Harris arrests a shoplifting suspect at a department store. A woman is arrested for assault after throwing a toilet seat out of her apartment window, claiming she did so because her husband is keeping her from voting.

The usual loonies arrive due to the full moon outside, which includes a man who swears he is turning into a werewolf.

Wojo brings in a suspect for disturbing the peace when he causes a scene by insisting that the world will be ending at 5:30pm that afternoon. Barney and Bernice worry about Fish when he arrives late for work when he is out helping a pair of kids from a nearby group home. Harris and Wojo have to arrest a man who hasn't left his apartment since World War II for failing to show up for jury duty.

Wojo brings in a suspect for failing to assist a police officer during a mugging on the subway, but Barney fails to see how a crime was committed. Shady lawyer Arnold Ripner is then called in for how the suspect was treated. As Fish laments how the police pension fund is being invested, Det. Battista arrests a flasher while on her way to the donut shop.

Wojo arrests an assault suspect who claims to have multiple personality order. After the suspect's doctor comes to help the detectives treat him after his other personality takes over, Yemana tries to prolong the situation so he can obtain racing tips to use as a later date. Meanwhile, the neighborhood has to deal with a power outage.

Fish ends up having to don a Santa suit on Christmas Eve to catch a robber; Yemana romances a lovely mugging victim; a frustrated department store shopper is arrested.

Wojo's girlfriend bakes brownies with a surprise inside and Wojo brings them to work and shares with the guys.

While the city is dealing with a first-stage smog alert, Det. Batista arrests a graffiti artist defacing city property with vulgar messages. When Harris and Fish are called out to the Brooklyn Bridge to talk down an attempted jumper, Fish gets injured due to passing out from the smog and got lost on his way to the hospital.

After Harris makes a wager with Yemana that he can't stop gambling, Yemana makes a counter wager to Harris to see if he could quit smoking. Barney finds himself in a tricky situation when a blind shoplifter is brought in, and an apartment building owner, looking to evict a tenant son his building can be demolished. He then finds a solution to help both men. Wojo has to appear in court but has stage fright when he tries to testify against an alleged slumlord.

When a report by the Rand Corporation appears in Newsweek casting police detectives in a negative light, the men at the twelfth precinct are less than thrilled by the article. As a result, Wojo has to spend one week a month walking the beat on uniform patrol with the other third grade detectives. However when he hears the news, Wojo declares he would rather quit than go back on patrol.

A suicidal couple is brought into the police station after a man turns himself in for murder. A criminal who is brought into the station house sets a fire that threatens to engulf the station.

A couple comes to the twelfth precinct, looking for Barney's assistance in rescuing their daughter from a cult. Meanwhile, Yemana is in a panic after his bookie gets arrested, and Harris is less than thrilled when a magazine he sold a short story to makes some changes to it before publishing it. Fish's pride takes a hit when Bernice arrives with news she intends to interview for a job in the city.

After receiving a complaint from a disgruntled wife, Barney investigates a sex clinic that appears to be more like a brothel. Harris investigates a series of robberies that appears to committed by a juvenile. Tired of being passed over for a promotion to detective, Levitt announces to the guys in the squad room that he plans on quitting the force.

Barney and the other detectives learn that Harris is moonlighting as captain of security at a neighborhood theater. A suspect is brought in with stolen goods that is traced back to a thrift shop run by a parish priest. When Wojo arrests a mentally challenged young man, he and Barney soon suspect he is being used by a neighborhood bookie.

Wojo lands Barney in trouble with the State Department when he grants a Russian defector asylum during an arrest. Marty is brought in for possessing a small amount of marijuana, possibly causing problems with his probation.

It's Fish's turn on the mugging detail and everyone has an opinion on his appearance. Yemana has to assist a bigoted Army Sgt. in charge of a local recruiting office when he receives a bomb threat call. Meanwhile, Harris has a genealogy company trace his family tree and doesn't like what was learned.

Barney starts to feel the effects of a possible strike of the uniformed police officers and detectives and soon gets an earful about it from Inspector Luger. Dietrich and Harris assist a woman who gets robbed by her date from a computer dating service.

With the unauthorized strike still in effect, Barney and Luger have their hands full doing all the work in the twelfth precinct.