Barney Miller

As the detectives assist a beauty queen who is the victim of a purse snatching, a moviegoer is arrested and brought in for causing a scene at a theater showing a snuff film. When Wojo gets hit with a paternity suit, he is less than thrilled at the lengths he has to go through to prove he isn't the father.

Harris is letting a new book contract deal get in the way of his work in tracking down the robber who help up a Mug Shop owner. Wojo and Dietrich try to help the owners of a neighborhood delicatessen who lost the winning ticket of an unemployed customer, out for revenge. Inspector Luger drops by for a visit with Barney and asks for his help in selecting a mail order bride.

Dietrich, Wojo, and Harris are sent on a call for an officer in distress, that ultimately turns out to be a sanitation department officer getting too overzealous while on patrol. When Levitt volunteers to go on a call to get a group of kids to disperse from a construction site, he gets injured for his efforts. A car thief has a crisis of conscience after a run-in with Wojo and confesses to stealing a DeSoto nearly 25 years ago.

Harris and Dietrich get assigned to a domestic disturbance when a wife attacks her husband after he forces her to wear a pair of designer jeans. After Wojo brings in a suspect for destruction of property, Barney finds himself having to call the police chaplain to perform an exorcism on the man.

Dietrich volunteers for a stress analysis study on police officers, and as a result causes Barney and his colleagues concern when the harness he's wearing stops working when he goes on an assault case. Harris and Wojo go on a call to NYU, where a Peace Corps recruiter causes a disturbance at job fair. Meanwhile, Inspector Luger stops by to express his displeasure in the letter Barney wrote for him to send his mail order bride.

Dietrich finds himself having to deal with the FBI when they bring in a robbery suspect is brought in for attempting to steal computer chips for gaming systems bound for Poland. Wojo brings in an Army Specialist for solicitation, resulting in her commanding officer being called in to handle the situation.

A CPR instructor is brought in after creating a disturbance while working at a nearby department store. Barney tries to get around some technicalities of a tontine for a pair of aging cousins. Levitt brings in a trio of witnesses to make statements about what they saw when he saved a boy on the construction site the previous month.

As Barney and the detectives of the twelfth precinct work in uniform while Levitt and the officers take their sergant's exams, Inspector Luger volunteers to be in charge for the day and ultimately gets in trouble for roughing up a suspect, and later Barney.

Harris and Barney are on the hunt for a mugger who has been targeting var street performers. Harris then goes on a call to a nearby hotel where an out of town politician hosts a rowdy stag party for several police officers, hoping to lure them to come and work for him in New Mexico. Wojo and Dietrich bring in a trio of inmates who were secretly released from jail to alleviate overcrowding conditions from Riker's Island. Levitt considers resigning from the force after learning that his nomination for a medal of valor is turned down.

Harris and Dietrich are forced to provide protection to an uncooperative witness to a murder that occurred in Chinatown. A business owner is arrested after breaking into his restaurant following a dispute with the IRS. A mugging victim catches the eye of Lt. Scanlon when he pays the squad room an unscheduled visit.

A week into their assignment of protecting their uncooperative witness, Harris and Dietrich start driving one another crazy. Miss Fitzjames returns to the twelfth precinct to file a harassment complaint against Lt. Scanlon.

Harris and Wojo bring in a suspect who created a disturbance in Washington Square Park while on a hunger strike. Dietrich befriends and attempts to advocate for an elderly psychiatric patient who may only a victim of a language barrier of those around her. Barney considers taking his name out of contention for Deputy Inspector.

As Harris takes the statement from a mugging victim who tried assisting an elderly woman on the street, a genius is brought in on suspicion of petty robbery. Inspector Luger and the guys in the squad room are in for a surprise when Luger's mail-order bride arrives, looking for her fiancé.

A man is arrested at a newspaper office for assault and battery when he attacks a reporter for writing and publishing his obituary before he actually dies. A thief is brought in for stealing surplus chicken parts from a government warehouse. The detectives surprise birthday party for Barney doesn't go as planned.

A young boy's parents are arrested after assaulting the headmaster of a prestigious daycare for turn down admission of their son. An Internal Affairs investigation is called on Wojo after he is involved in a shooting earlier in the day. Also booked is a man arrested for mugging a victim after being mugged himself.

Harris and Wojo bring in an actor, arrested for assaulting his agent. A good samaritan is arrested after a choking victim he helped presses charges for assault. Dietrich spends the afternoon with an old flame.

Dietrich assists a mugging victim who eventually admits to Barney she carried a torch for him from when he saved her from a mugging 25 years ago when he was a beat cop. Harris and Wojo bring in a stockbroker who caught selling drugs to the detectives. Meanwhile, attorney Arnold Ripner runs afoul of Harris when he learns Harris is in negotiations for a new book deal and tries to hit him with a new libel suit.

Dietrich and Wojo arrest a Native American when he attempts to retrieve the ancestral remains of deceased tribal members at a nearby museum. A scoutmaster assists the detectives in catching a mugger in the park. The twelfth precinct has to deal with another plumbing problem in the building and a language barrier between the officers and plumber tasked to fix the problem.

As Harris assists a robbery victim fill out his report, Barney and the detectives learn that the antique gun Wojo found originally belonged to former President Theodore Roosevelt when he was the New York Police Commissioner. As a result, the building gets designated as a historical landmark and will be sold to private investors.

When Barney and the detectives learn that the building has been sold and they'll have 30 days to vacate the building, Dietrich brings in a a pair of elderly women who tried robbing a neighborhood business. Luger tries to skip out on his mail-order bride. Later, the detectives and officers downstairs start airing their grievances about their upcoming reassignments.

On their last day at the twelfth precinct, Harris investigates a series of thefts involving manhole covers, while Wojo brings in a suspect accused of theft of his work at research facility he works at. When Barney receives everyone's transfer orders, they're stunned at learning they'll be split up at various precincts. Barney then is in for a surprise of his own regarding his promotion. Various friends and past suspects pay the detectives their last respects.